20 Comments

As a privileged white guy it took me too long to realize that I live in a police state built and maintained for my benefit. It needs to end, and defunding is a good start. So much of what they do should be in the hands of social workers. 700 billion a year for the military. Imagine what we could do.

Expand full comment
Mar 28, 2021Liked by Chris La Tray

This same question has been going around in the very small rural community where my husband and I have a tiny cabin. Everyone knows everyone else (despite 80+acres inbetween properties) but someone broke into a few of the houses. Initially there's worry and then of course, an owner ended up knowing who the person was who was doing the breaking/entering/living. So, what do you do. You don't want to call the sheriff (who is an hour away, at best) bc you know the family. Ended up the owner gave the person a talking to and we're hoping that puts an end to it. It almost feels more fraught because now we all know the person, but also less worrying, in some ways. And yet we still don't want our homes/cabins broken into.

Expand full comment
Mar 28, 2021Liked by Chris La Tray

Okay. The police from a native perspective have been unfair, injust and worse. But I have a son who just wants to be a Missoula street cop. He has spent the last 4 years as a security guard in county lock-up. He served in Afghanistan prior to that. I just wanted the slightly-built, adopted (by me) South Korean infant to grow up and do something safe like draftsman. But no, he wanted to be a cop. He is a good person. You would immediately love him for his honesty and wisdom, as he is now approaching 31 years of age. His dad died when he was 19, of cancer. He is married and performs Honor guard services for vets when they die. Old ones, young ones. I am sorry for your difficulties in the former dark room. I agree marginalizing folk, due to being poor, or because they are people of color, is wrong. We have to find common ground and be proactive about respecting one another. I will follow your writings. Maybe common ground isn't difficult to find.

Expand full comment
Mar 28, 2021Liked by Chris La Tray

I never regret taking the time to read one of your essays, Chris. Thank you. I've been robbed a few times and each time it was a shock, a violation, to be sure. I'm so glad your laptop survived the incident! And I share your antipathy to the police. (Side note: I was trying to think of times that I have interacted with them outside of a protest situation, which has happened many times, including the time I was arrested during an attempted blockade of a Bush motorcade in a small northern Michigan town when W was coming around to advertise his endless wars) and I remembered being the victim of a drunk driving incident in college, and how the cop hit on me while he was taken our statement on the side of road at 2 am. I was with a male friend, thankfully, and the cop's behavior amounted to mild harassment, but it's another facet of the experience of cops that has to do with their power versus my/our lack of power. Anyway, I just wanted to write to say I appreciate you and all of these unpleasant associations with cops flooded in!

On another, even darker note, there was a murder this weekend in the tiny town next to ours: a domestic situation that played out on a picturesque beach in front of the public on an early day of spring. A rock not a gun were involved. Three kids lost their mom as a result of this horror. I don't know all of the details but it made me think about how stressed and pushed to the limit a lot of folks are at this point and how that is going to continue to play out in different kinds of desperate acts. I don't know the backstory on the guy who did it (allegedly) but I can sort of picture how, for those under too much pressure, for too long, and perhaps they lack impulse control, and perhaps they have a violent streak, and this may seem like a far flung connection to make in this moment but I have been contemplating the many ways the constant stress of the last year (and more), coupled with the culture we're steeped in (violence, sexism, inequality, etc.) and how this will manifest in the lives of real people who just don't have the resources to get through this intact.

Expand full comment

I've lived in massive cities for all of my adult life and been the victim of enough crimes (mugged at gunpoint being the worst one) that I'm grateful there is a police force for when terrible things happen. HOWEVER, I will do everything possible to avoid the fucking cops. Thanks for giving us a straight story and not sugar coating it.

Expand full comment
Mar 28, 2021Liked by Chris La Tray

I'm sorry you got thieved. I understand how unsettling that is, even if nothing terribly important was taken. Years ago someone poked a hole in the door of my car to jimmy the door open and steal the sound system. I was stunned by how I felt afterwards: like I'd been raped. But not that, because of course, that would be so much more traumatic, but still, I did feel violated. Hard to describe, hard to deal with.

Something struck me by this: the deep level of hatred and racism that stepped out of the shadows during the Trump nightmare (but has always been there and encouraged, if only with a bit more subtlety, all along). Your words ring true. But this made me ponder, which is the better of two evils? Hatred exposed for what it is or hatred tamped down to be less visible, but simmering nevertheless?

Expand full comment
Apr 1, 2021Liked by Chris La Tray

Here in France, police brutality is not as systemic (systematic?) as in the US, but lately, the policing has become more violent. And indeed, minorities are the first victims of that. And people are radicalizing on both sides, thanks to the media (both mainstream and social) who just stoke the fires...

I just finished reading a friend's novel taking place in Oklahoma, on Osage territory (he spent some time there,) and the picture is heart-wrenching. I can't begin to imagine what it must feel like to be part of a people that have been so deprived of all the basics of human rights.

and I write that being white and french, so I guess my ancestors were, if not slaveowners, at least probably in agreement with all the rhetoric of colonialism.

Nowadays, as you pointed at, people are indeed eager to go back on planes to travel, live the life they had before the pandemic. Which is terrifying because we are in this mess because of the lifestyle we had. the exploitation of the environment, of human beings, just for the sake of money, fancy phones and cars. we've been brainwashed for decades, and how can we de-program ourselves? I have, partly I guess. But it was the consequence of very hard times I had to go through. people I know find it weird for me to say I will no longer travel around the world, because I can't look myself in the mirror knowing I take part, however small, in the destruction of our environment. Or that I won't buy this item because its social or environmental impact is/are terrible.

Sorry this comment is not very well structured...

Expand full comment

Dark truth. I like it. Some of my best work is the darkest. Doesn't it feel good after you process this shit? Writers are lucky, in a way. Love the ending. Have a drink or something.

Expand full comment