There’s a lot going on here. I appreciate each thread in your latest missive. The titular sloganie swipe at so-called resilience, though... that one got me.
I suffer seemingly empty-headed sloganism in my field of education, which celebrates and even targets resilience as something we should teach.
But it’s not empty headed. It’s perniciously intentional.
It astounds me that we, educators can’t (won’t) see the truth of this - that we’re aiming to prepare children to suffer. That’s it. We hide it behind words like persistence or its latest racist iteration, grit.
Dammit, but this angers me. We (I) must turn this around. Change/mute the thing(s) that cause the suffering of children instead of preparing children for pain.
It’s exactly, exactly the same mentality that suggests it makes sense to arm teachers and teach children to duck and cover. It is blindly, clumsily, intentionally obfuscating the point: that the larger structures in place like schools are the thing we are training children to endure, so that when they are adults, they might “succeed” while maintaining the very structures that suppress and dehumanize.
Horse feathers.
Sorry. Got kinda ranty. Please forgive me. But your letter hit a dissonant chord for me. Thanks for a moment of clarity. And I see your point about the limitations of texty spaces. This so needs careful, considerate conversation with a bunch of people around the table, including students.
"Celebrating resilience... runs the risk of idealizing the capacity to suffer."
How my jaw just hit the FLOOR. I'm in higher ed and we constantly talk about resilience as though its aspirational- that if we can just teach it, students will magically be prepared. The word has always nagged at me, but this tweet unpacked the shit out of it. Thanks for sharing. This type of education from Dr. CBS is why I can't quit Twitter, lol
Clarity in the chaos. You're right. Resilience is still a survival trait not a thriving trait. We deny pain, suffering, and impact when we use "compliments" like that. We can do better by being empathetic, recognizing where we are implicitly or explicitly contributing to trauma, and owning it/doing better. We must.
I’ll admit I never thought about resilience like this but of course you’re right. (Makes me consider how often people mention that “children are resilient,” usually after fucking them over in some obvious or not so obvious way.) Thank you, as always, for making me think about the world differently.
Resilience. Oof. How I have grown to resent that word too--for resilience to exist or be necessary is inherently a symptom of oppression. I love that you write about how your opinions and ideas changed. And the need for specific, deliberate language. Padraig O'Tuama (who is great) was on an interview I listened to where he spoke of the dangers of lazy language, how careful, deliberate language is powerful and a gift. We should wield it with purpose. Love that you wrote about this.
I understand what you are saying about resilience but I believe you’re throwing the baby out with the bath water. The truth is life is hard. It would be wonderful if the world didn’t bully, demean, and try to erase us. But it does. As a survivor of 5 years of childhood sexual abuse by my pastor (and now middle aged), I would say that resilient is the greatest compliment I have been given and it’s a badge of honor for me. If I wasn’t resilient, I’d be dead. Surviving 3 suicide attempts and hospitalizations I know the odds of me still being here. True, I don’t know that anyone chooses to be resilient but goddamn, I am so glad that I am. Victor Franks’s book, man’s search for meaning, has a much different take on resilience than yours. I choose everyday to live and I am grateful for every day I have breath. You know what’s resilient? Weeds. Good luck trying to get rid of them. And that’s how I view myself. Perhaps it really is all about perspective. One man’s offense is another man’s reward. Resilience, persistence, and grit are the only reasons I am alive, healthy, sober, and thriving.
It's like Frank Turner sings, life didn't kill me but I don't feel stronger. And yeah, you've got it bang on. You ever read that Clint Smith poem about those who don't make it through?
“nobody wants to be resilient and it isn’t a fucking compliment.” #nailedit
There’s a lot going on here. I appreciate each thread in your latest missive. The titular sloganie swipe at so-called resilience, though... that one got me.
I suffer seemingly empty-headed sloganism in my field of education, which celebrates and even targets resilience as something we should teach.
But it’s not empty headed. It’s perniciously intentional.
It astounds me that we, educators can’t (won’t) see the truth of this - that we’re aiming to prepare children to suffer. That’s it. We hide it behind words like persistence or its latest racist iteration, grit.
Dammit, but this angers me. We (I) must turn this around. Change/mute the thing(s) that cause the suffering of children instead of preparing children for pain.
It’s exactly, exactly the same mentality that suggests it makes sense to arm teachers and teach children to duck and cover. It is blindly, clumsily, intentionally obfuscating the point: that the larger structures in place like schools are the thing we are training children to endure, so that when they are adults, they might “succeed” while maintaining the very structures that suppress and dehumanize.
Horse feathers.
Sorry. Got kinda ranty. Please forgive me. But your letter hit a dissonant chord for me. Thanks for a moment of clarity. And I see your point about the limitations of texty spaces. This so needs careful, considerate conversation with a bunch of people around the table, including students.
Cheers,
-Nigel
"Celebrating resilience... runs the risk of idealizing the capacity to suffer."
How my jaw just hit the FLOOR. I'm in higher ed and we constantly talk about resilience as though its aspirational- that if we can just teach it, students will magically be prepared. The word has always nagged at me, but this tweet unpacked the shit out of it. Thanks for sharing. This type of education from Dr. CBS is why I can't quit Twitter, lol
Clarity in the chaos. You're right. Resilience is still a survival trait not a thriving trait. We deny pain, suffering, and impact when we use "compliments" like that. We can do better by being empathetic, recognizing where we are implicitly or explicitly contributing to trauma, and owning it/doing better. We must.
I’ll admit I never thought about resilience like this but of course you’re right. (Makes me consider how often people mention that “children are resilient,” usually after fucking them over in some obvious or not so obvious way.) Thank you, as always, for making me think about the world differently.
Hi Chris,
“IDEALIZING THE CAPACITY TO SUFFER”
I will never again think of ‘resiliency’ in the same way. Thanks for stretching this old lady’s horizons.
Sincerely,
Melissa
Resilience. Oof. How I have grown to resent that word too--for resilience to exist or be necessary is inherently a symptom of oppression. I love that you write about how your opinions and ideas changed. And the need for specific, deliberate language. Padraig O'Tuama (who is great) was on an interview I listened to where he spoke of the dangers of lazy language, how careful, deliberate language is powerful and a gift. We should wield it with purpose. Love that you wrote about this.
Appreciated this! There are a lot of well-intentioned generalizing slogans and I liked your explanation regarding “_____ are human rights”
On the topic of resilience, I think often of this essay: https://culture.org/come-heat-and-high-water/ which is about “resilience” in the context of climate change.
I understand what you are saying about resilience but I believe you’re throwing the baby out with the bath water. The truth is life is hard. It would be wonderful if the world didn’t bully, demean, and try to erase us. But it does. As a survivor of 5 years of childhood sexual abuse by my pastor (and now middle aged), I would say that resilient is the greatest compliment I have been given and it’s a badge of honor for me. If I wasn’t resilient, I’d be dead. Surviving 3 suicide attempts and hospitalizations I know the odds of me still being here. True, I don’t know that anyone chooses to be resilient but goddamn, I am so glad that I am. Victor Franks’s book, man’s search for meaning, has a much different take on resilience than yours. I choose everyday to live and I am grateful for every day I have breath. You know what’s resilient? Weeds. Good luck trying to get rid of them. And that’s how I view myself. Perhaps it really is all about perspective. One man’s offense is another man’s reward. Resilience, persistence, and grit are the only reasons I am alive, healthy, sober, and thriving.
Thank you for tackling such difficult topics and how language matters.
It's like Frank Turner sings, life didn't kill me but I don't feel stronger. And yeah, you've got it bang on. You ever read that Clint Smith poem about those who don't make it through?
my white cis male mind completely blown! is neuroplasticity "resilience"? you always make me think harder than i'm used to thinking. thanks you.
Great piece. Thanks Chris!